Invasion Roswell – SyFy Channel – 2013
Every now and then, one must bow to the utterly ridiculous. Invasion Roswell premiered on Syfy last night
and I decided that I wanted to see it. I
didn’t know what to expect, but from what I’ve seen in the past for SyFy’s original
films, I didn’t expect much, and didn’t get much. But then, from what I saw, this film wasn’t
meant to deliver very much. It is most definitely
the most ‘B’ movie I have seen in a very long time, as I believe it was meant
to be. It was so bad, that it was good.
The film opens with a desperate battle being fought between
an army of aliens and five humans. The
aliens, small greys, are marching toward the team, known as the Exterminators,
without weapons while the Exterminators mow them down. Suddenly, the battle comes to an end and we
find that the team is fighting an army of holographic aliens. We learn that the Exterminators are, and have
been for many years, training for an expected alien invasion that hasn’t
happened, and as far as the government is concerned, will not happen in the
future, after all it has been 59 years since the Roswell incident. The exterminators are informed that they are
to be pensioned off, and scatter to the four winds.
Seven years later, a giant alien craft is detected heading
for the earth, and it becomes apparent that the invasion is actually on. Ala Independence Day, Several smaller craft
break from the giant mother ship and take up positions over many of Earth’s
major cities, and Roswell.
After his home is destroyed due to aliens trying to retrieve
some device, the former leader of the Exterminators, Patrick Conte, leaves to
put the team back together. I feel it
necessary to mention here that when the house was destroyed, Conte’s wife was
inside, but Conte didn’t bother with any period of mourning for his deceased
love one.
One by one, Conte puts the team back together. David is a tough outdoorsman type, James has
become a gamer, but he argues that it has kept him sharp, and George is a pilot
that can fly anything. Further, George
claims to have been abducted and “probed” by aliens, as well as receiving an
implant. The final member of the team,
played by Denise Crosby (I never did catch her character’s name) and seems to
have a past with Conte.
After several attempts of the team trying to fight the
invasion, it is accepted that conventional weapons will be no match for the
alien forces. So the Exterminators are
reinstated.
The team learns that there is an alien craft hidden at the
Roswell Air Force Base, and it is the one that crashed in 1947, but it didn’t
simply crash, we learn that it was actually shot down by American aircraft, and
the aliens have returned for some payback.
Again, ala Independence Day, it is determined that the only
way the alien invasion is going to be stopped is to deliver a nuclear weapon to
the mother ship. It is also learned that
George’s implant is in communication with the aliens’ devices and he is chosen
to fly the mission, along with David and Patrick. The nuke is delivered, the mother ship is
destroyed, and all of the smaller ships that are parked over the major cities
begin crashing, and crashing into the cities, while everyone at the Roswell AFB
celebrates wildly.
If you are looking for great cinematic art, this ain’t
it. And it wasn’t intended to be. It is simply a romp that was so bad, and so
poorly made, that it was actually fun to watch.
For me, it was reminiscent of the really bad sci-fi and horror films
that were played on the late night Creature Feature shows on years gone
past. This would be something that MST3K
would have a field day with.
The script is bad, but it is propped up with several
one-liners that made me chuckle from time to time. The “high tech” weapons used by the team look
a lot like the rifles that are used by color guards in marching band field
shows. The special effects aren’t
special at all; the miniatures used for the AFB are obviously small, cheap
models (perhaps toys picked up at the local Toys ‘R’ Us), and the flight scenes
are absolutely bottom notch.
This movie doesn’t take itself very seriously, and it doesn’t
ask the audience to do so either. It’s
just a bit of silly fun, if you have two hours to kill, and there’s nothing
else but “Reality TV” on the tube.
Oh, I am still trying to figure out why Denise Crosby was in
this, aside from lending her name to get all of us Sci-Fi Fans to tune in.
Well, there it is…
QaplaH’?
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